How To Write Wedding Thank You Notes - 15 Do's and Don'ts

There are two fundamentals of expressing gratitude. First every wedding gift should be acknowledged in writing. And second your acknowledgement should be prompt.

Personal handwritten thank-yous remain the gold standard of courtesy in the age of cellphones, computers, and instant messages. Written notes demonstrate that the writer cares enough about the giver to compose a personalized message and put words to paper.

This Do's and Don'ts checklist should help you avoid common mistakes when expressing gratitude in your thank you notes:

* Do personalize your notes, making reference to the person as well as the gift.

* Do sign your significant other's name along with your own even though you wrote the note.

* Do write thank-you notes to everyone who showed you kindness. The neighbor who accepts your wedding gifts while your at work, the cousin who supervises guest parking at the reception, anyone who helped with wedding preparations should be graciously thanked.

* Don't use cheap store-bought generic cards as it shows very little consideration. You don't need to purchase expensive thank you notes, but cards should be on decent quality paper--avoid your local dollar store!

* Do be enthusiastic, but you don't need to gush. Avoid saying that a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, unless you really mean it.

* Don't send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don't use email or post generic thank-yous on your wedding website in lieu of personal notes.

* Do send a note after the wedding to everyone in your bridal party thanking them for helping make your day so special.

* Don't mention that you plan to return or exchange a gift or indicate dissatisfaction in any way.

* Don't tailor notes to the perceived value of gifts. No one should receive a dashed-off, perfunctory note.

* Do refer to the use you will make of money gifts. Mentioning the amount is optional.

* Don't include wedding photos or use photo cards if this will delay sending notes.

* Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.

* Don't use lateness in writing your notes as an excuse not to write. If you're still sending thank-you notes after your first anniversary, keep writing.

* Do send a note of thanks to any vendor who went above and beyond your expectations as it will be greatly appreciated.

* Do send you parents a heartfelt Thank you note after you return from your honeymoon.